As each year comes to a close, I try to take some time to reflect on everything I’ve learned over the past twelve months. I’m not always one to make official resolutions, but my hope is that I can apply this year’s lessons to next year’s adventures.
More often than I would like to admit, I get stuck in the trap of the comparison game. It’s easy to look at someone else’s life and be envious, but the truth is that no one is perfect and we all have our struggles. Style bloggers are no exception, and it’s important to keep that in mind when you’re quick to covet or criticize. It may be cliche, but that old saying about being kind to everyone you meet because you don’t know what battle they’re fighting is totally true. There is usually more than meets the eye.
Although I try my best to keep things upbeat and positive on this blog and my social media channels, the truth is that the past month has been pretty tough for me. I’m not working at the moment, and I’m spending most of my days at home. This may sound like heaven to those of you stuck in an office all day, and while it’s been great to get some things done around the apartment and take care of those doctors’ appointments I kept putting off, it has also been incredibly lonely. I have more time to work on the blog, but with no friends around on these short winter days, I’m back to re-learning how to shoot outfit photos with a tripod. I have more time to comment on blogs I admire…and more time to worry about what I could be doing better on mine. My husband has a very demanding job and often works late. Sometimes the only people I see on a given day are strangers at the gym, and baristas at Starbucks. I’m lucky that my husband is working and doing well financially so I don’t have to rush to get a job right away, but there are days when I feel so lost that it’s so hard to motivate myself to do anything. I just want to lie in my comfy, warm bed and read. I’m trying to start a little side gig as a virtual personal shopper while I search for something full-time, but launching anything is a challenge, especially at this time of year.
So, why am I telling you this? It’s not because I want you to feel bad for me. I am incredibly fortunate and blessed, and while this may be a bump in the road, I know I will come out on the other side. But, I want you to know that the grass isn’t always greener, and share some of the lessons I’m learning in this time of transition:
Be grateful for what you have and learn from the tough times.
Even if your situation isn’t exactly what you want it to be,
embrace the positive and see what you can do to change the negative.
Don’t be so quick to judge people, and be open to giving and getting second chances.
Let yourself have bad days, as long as you don’t make it a pattern.
Leave the past behind you and focus on the future.
Realize that if you don’t believe in yourself, no one else will.
When all else fails, remember that laughter is the best medicine.
Hugs! It is still a sore spot for me, but it took me FOREVER to find a job after I graduated from grad school. There were some incredibly tough financial times and without the support of my hubs I would have had to take any job rather than holding out for the position I have now. It was tough. We bickered with each other over stupid things because I was unhappy. I know exactly what you mean because it can come across as total, “first world problems” but it is truly difficult and frustrating when you can’t work and do what you want to do. Best of luck with your job search. Hang in there and don’t settle if you have the financial means not to.
http://jax-and-jewels.blogspot.com
Thanks for the hugs and positive thoughts! When my husband was starting school, I took a job that I knew wasn’t going to be the best fit and ended up staying there for 2 1/2 not so enjoyable years. Now that he’s working, I’m definitely taking the opportunity to find something that’s right for me. Fingers crossed that I find it!
Thank you for sharing and the honesty. It is so easy to get lost in the comparison game (especially in the blogging world when everyone’s lives look fabulous beyond belief), so thank you for the reminder to take a step back. I have gone through major transitions this year too between leaving my job, moving to a new place where we knew no one, and starting my own company…it can definitely be a challenge. Sending you big hugs – I know you will come out on top! You are fab! XX
I totally agree about the comparison game in the blogging world. It’s something that I really struggle with, so I figured others did too. You have definitely gone through a lot of changes this year, and I totally admire how you started your own business. Thanks so much for the hugs and support! Lucky to have you as a blogging friend 🙂 xo
Thank you for this beautiful and honest post. I am dealing with a lot of similar issues. There is something so reassuring knowing we are not alone in our insecurities. That said, you are amazing and your tenacity and fashion passion will shine through these times. Only good things are destined for you! XOXO
Thanks, Carolyn! I totally agree. Sometimes I feel like I’m the only one feeling this way and everyone else is riding along on the happy train. So, as much as I wrote this post for me, I also put myself out there so other people would know they are not alone. Your support and encouragement mean the world to me and I don’t know what I would do without your friendship! xoxo
Thank you for sharing your story. It is very brave of you to be so open and honest and as a blogger I feel that it’s a wonderful way to bond and find support through your readers. I am new to blogging but I find our stories are very similar. My job of four years ended abruptly in September and I have found the transition process very difficult. I had always wanted to be a blogger and find a way to share my stories and ideas with people. With every rewarding day comes five lonely days where I doubt myself. But I believe that this is a turning point for me and it’s a learning experience. Like your goals to be a personal shopper I too have my own goals. I just have to remember that it’s going to take time and I’m going to make mistakes and hopefully learn from them. Have a wonderful holidays and I am so happy to have come across your blog!
best,
Wesley
http://www.eatshoplivenyc.com
Hi Wesley! Thank you SO much for commenting and sharing your story! Blogging is a wonderful, amazing thing…but it’s really hard and it takes a lot of work. There are a lot of us, so it’s competitive by nature, but it’s important to remember that we are what makes our blogs unique. Easier said than done of course, but I think we just have to decide that it’s worth the struggle and keep on keeping on until we reach our goals. Hope you have a great holidays too, and definitely adding your blog to my reading list!
I can relate to your story. It’s very easy to get wrapped up in what everyone else is doing. I saw a little tchotchke recently in Nordstrom that said “may your life someday be as perfect as you portray it on Facebook”. Naturally, Facebook can be interchanged for Instagram, blogs, etc! The grass is always greener!
Good luck on your job search. Something will definitely turn up!
XO
Heather
http://www.disposableincomegirl.com
Wise words from Nordstrom, and a great reminder that we take this stuff too seriously sometimes! Thanks for sharing, Heather 🙂
What an honest post, which I appreciate! So glad I got to meet you this year and thank you for being so kind in meeting up with me when I approached you. Good Luck with your new venture and looking forward to hanging out again when I visit NYC next time!